


break it down, spill it wide, laugh it off

by earlofcardigans



Series: dirt and light [2]
Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-17
Updated: 2009-12-17
Packaged: 2017-11-18 14:37:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/562133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlofcardigans/pseuds/earlofcardigans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>bob has a birthday, talks to his band and its related people.</p>
            </blockquote>





	break it down, spill it wide, laugh it off

"You have _got_ to do something about Frank."

Bob had, of course, answered his phone instead of letting it jump into the tiny pond that was Gerard's backyard when it wanted to.

"Why me? I'm right in the middle of something. And hello to you, too, Jamia." Bob set down his fork and walked away from the grill. If Jamia made him burn a steak because Frank was being himself, he'd never forgive Frank.

"You're the only one he'll listen to. He's going a bit overboard with this birthday thing. Are you cooking?" Jamia was curious. Of course she was. Bob was master steak chef in My Chem world even if Frank was a freak and wanted him to buy something tofu-ish to try and grill. Bob had standards.

"Fine. Tell him to come over. And yeah. I fixed my marinade." Bob walked back through his, Gerard and Lindsey's house to the living room and tried to pick out his own stuff among the tornado that he had created. Sometimes Bob was messy. He shrugged. He still wasn't a Way.

"I already told him to go over Gerard's. You are home, right? He should be there in ten minutes. Honestly, you have to smack him on the back of the head for me. I promised him. Shit for brains." Bob only half listened because Jamia still loved Frank, and he could tell. _Shit for brains_ was her favorite term of endearment. "Hey did you put the teryaki?"

Bob stopped after he picked up a hoodie and fished around in the pockets, cell phone stuck between shoulder and chin. "It's like you don't even know me, Mia. Really? Did I fucking put the. And here I thought we had a connection. I mean, you got me those reindeer slippers for Christmas. I got you that hoodie with the fox ears and you're asking me about teryaki sauce. I should go before I weep into the tasteless chicken nuggets that I'm going to eat instead."

Bob was almost sure Jamia said something like 'bye' and 'love you' and 'thanks' but she was laughing too hard to figure it out. He just hung up the phone and waited for Frank.  
;;

"What about this one?" Mikey clicked back over to a different tab. Bob sniffed and hoped it cleared his vision because he was sure that was the same shirt Mikey just showed him.

"It's the same one." Fuck it. Bob shrugged and sat back. Mikey had called and said he had an Alicia Christmas Crisis. No matter that Christmas was last week. Apparently they celebrated a separate day just for them and made the 25th about the pets or some shit. Bob didn't ask questions. Anyway, what Mikey wanted to get her was sold out. That clearly made Bob the logical choice for a fashion emergency.

"So I should get her both." Mikey nodded and added that one to the cart in a god awful color Bob was sure Alicia would appreciate. He shrugged again.

"What did she get you?" He asked offhand. Not like he wanted the answer.

Mikey looked over at him, crinkled up his face like Bob was feeble in some way. "We don't tell each other beforehand, Bob. That ruins the spirit of the thing. Alicia loves surprises."

"You don't," Bob answered, the _duh_ obvious in his voice.

"It's Alicia. So." This time Mikey shrugged.

"Totally get both of those ugly shirts, Mikeyway. Surprise the hell out of her." Bob leaned back and closed his eyes, but he didn't miss Mikey's tiny smile.  
;;

"Toro. Dude. What is this email you sent me?" Bob was slightly vibrating. He may have had too much Red Bull. He may have listened to whatever Ray had created way too loudly on Lindsey's seriously kick ass headphones.

"What time is it there, Bob?" Ray sounded muffled and slightly huffy. Bob didn't laugh when he sounded like an old lady school teacher.

"Uh. Midnight? Ish? I don't know, man. Talk to me about this." Bob resettled on the ugly couch Gerard had insisted on and listened for Lindsey in the kitchen. She was getting the leftovers and making... something. Bob was sure it would be awesome since they were his leftovers, but Lindsey's food art scared him.

"If it's midnight there, Bob, what time is it here?" Ray was definitely huffy.

"Right. Okay. So? Will you call me tomorrow about this? Want me to send a reminder to your phone?" Bob waited for Ray to answer, but before he did, he said, "I'm sorry, Toro. I'll just call you back tomorrow. Get some sleep?"

Bob thought Ray fell back asleep in the middle of saying 'you too.'  
;;

"You should reign in your fucking band. Iero's insulting fans all over the place."

"You should talk to your fucking friends instead of stalking them online. What's up with you, Schechter? Where are you right now? Do you have the Google Earth positioned over me and Gerard? Can you see me flipping you off?"

Gerard looked up at Bob with questioning eyes, but Bob just shook his head. Gerard turned over in Bob's lap and stared back at the TV.

"Anyway. Happy birthday, asshole." Brian sounded sincere about it. And the thing with Brian was that he always was sincere about calling people assholes. He really meant it. Bob appreciated that in Brian from way back. Part of the reason they were friends.

"Aww thanks, B, for the touching sentiment. Where's my present?"

"You should have dinner with me some time and come get it." Brian was doing that thing where he twisted his shirt around his hand. Bob could totally tell.

"You should come to my completely and utterly a surprise to me party and bring it." Bob pretended to ignore Gerard's frantic face.

"I don't know if that's a good idea." More shirt twisting. It was a wonder any of his clothes fit.

"Still your fucking friends, Schechter. Not like you and me got divorced and I got custody of them and you have to come pick Gerard up on Thursday for your visitation weekend or whatever. You're invited. It's my birthday. I'm old. I'm inviting you. Besides, I hear there is going to be this giant jumbotron thing Frankie has rigged up and we get to see Toro's hair in a like, extra super huge _Ray Eats West Hollywood_ type thing. It will be classic. Why would you miss that?" Bob had dropped his voice on the last question because he was serious, and Gerard had sat up and was chewing his thumbnail off and wanted a serious answer, too.

"Tell you what," Bob said in a stroke of genius, Gerard would thank him _so much_ later Bob would have a permanent birthday smile, "I'm going to accidentally drop this phone in between me and Gerard." Bob looked right at Gerard when he talked, but he heard Brian breathe in deep. "I don't know what will happen after that. Gerard might pick it up and talk to whoever is on the other end. Oh no. Look. Oops. I am dropping my phone." Bob let go of it right over Gerard's lap. Then said in a loud voice, "What happened to my phone? I hope it works its shit out."

Gerard kissed him full on the mouth and picked up the phone.

Bob heard him say 'Wait who is this again?' and then laugh like a little girl as he walked out toward the garage.  
;;

"Happy birthday," Gerard said close to his face. Bob untangled his arm from Lindsey but she still rolled with him.

"Happy birthday," he said back. Lindsey laughed. "Oh wait. I mean, thanks." Bob opened his eyes, looked at Gerard. "Hi."

"Hi." Gerard smiled at him at all huge. Bob felt himself smile back, sleepy and goofy. Sometimes he hated that Gerard made him do that. But only sometimes. "I made you cupcakes."

"You made Bob cupcakes at midnight? You are the sappiest sap, Gerard. Jesus." But she had the matching sleepy-goofy smile aimed at both of them, so she didn't have room to complain as far as Bob was concerned.

Bob sat up and dragged Lindsey with him. They sat tangled across from Gerard while Bob woke up more. He was the worst at being woken up. Well, no, he wasn't Mikey, but he still didn't function on any real level for at least five minutes.

"I just put one candle. You're old now. Didn't want to burn down the fucking bedroom with all those flames." Gerard flicked the lighter on and then back off and smiled. Bob suddenly really wanted a cigarette.

Bob kicked him from under the covers. Lindsey hid her smile in Bob's shoulder.

"Gonna make a wish?" she whispered.

"Can't tell you. Won't come true."

"It's probably about Food Network or like, some Call of Duty cheat code or some shit." Gerard rolled his eyes at Lindsey, and they laughed silently together at Bob's expense. He didn't care. He liked seeing their matching expressions.

"It's like you don't even know me." Bob kicked him again. "Give me that cupcake."

Gerard leaned up, but instead of handing over the delicious frosted goodness, he kissed Bob, sweet and slow and not at all conducive to making him want to wake up. Lindsey burrowed her hand in Gerard's hair and watched. After he pulled away, before Bob opened his eyes, Lindsey kissed him, chased the taste of Gerard from him. When she pulled back, she rested her nose on Bob's and said, "Happy birthday, Bob. Eat the cupcake before I turn into a frosting monster."

Bob smiled at her and held his hand out for his cupcake, wiggled his fingers a little. Gerard gave it to him with the lit candle. Bob may have wished that his birthday party with the jumbotron and Frank-inspired decorations was suddenly, inexplicably canceled, but nobody could prove that.


End file.
